


make room!!!! ; os

by cookiemustdie



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27303778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiemustdie/pseuds/cookiemustdie
Summary: i write frerard one-shots here, oop.• slow/messy updates !
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Kudos: 7





	1. the blond-o-sonic shimmer trap.

_'Black as a beacon in a river of shimmering fog'_

Gerard turned up the volume of his phone, Alex Turner's voice echoing through his headphones.

_'Yes, she was'_

He was alone in his hotel room, it'd been a long, hot day, July just around the corner. So, he'd decided to relax, staying only in his underwear and one of his tank tops, listening to one of the last EP's of the well-known British band for the third time in a row. Their music was pretty good.

_'If you were heat-seeking,_  
_she was hard to ignore'_

It was great. So much he'd started dancing around the small room, the little balcony's door was half open, just enough for the smoke from the cigarette he had on his fingers went away in no time.

_'Yes, she was'_

Sunlight shone through the window, causing the temperature to slowly rise with his movements. His hips went from side to side, sighs coming out of his mouth as he softly sang.

_'And she snapped wing mirrors off of cadillacs_  
_The particular pretty ones'_

He smiled with his eyes closed, smoking a bit more, finishing to then turn off the cylinder in the ashtray next to his bed.

_'And that meant she never had to strain her back_  
_When she was putting her lippy on'_

It was barely six in the afternoon, the sun was slowly going down, the night was getting closer and closer.

_'Well, time tastes bland when she's not around_  
_And you'd sit and you'd sink and approach the brink'_

He loved the British singer's voice, the way he spoke of a girl, a lover, making the redhead run a hand through his recently cut, now slightly sweaty, hair; also thinking about his 'girl', _his lover_. Even though he didn't really have someone like that.

 _Not exactly_ , at least.

_'Before she showed you how to shake love's steady hand,_  
_tha knows'_

_I should take a shower._

A small buzz in the room interrupted his thoughts and the music that was playing on his Spotify, followed by a, "Hey, Gee."

"Shit!" He abruptly pulled his headphones out, making the music stop. He turned to see his best friend. "You scared me, Frankie," he said, both of them were smiling.

"I just came to let you know that the boys wanted to go down to the bar, or something like that," he looked at him from head to toe. "Whatcha doing?" he laughed.

"U-uhh, I-" He didn't know what to do with his hands, whether to cover himself or what. Anyway, Frank had already seen him like this before. "Nothing. I was just listening to music." He smiled at him, to then turn his back and close Spotify, leaving his phone on the bedside table.

"What were you listening to?" Frank closed the door behind him, walking towards him.

" _Arctic Monkeys_ , they released some songs recently."

"Mmm, are they any good?" He lay down on the large bed of the room, casually. Gerard looked at him from the corner of his eye, not knowing what made him so nervous.

"Yeah."

"Put it on then."

"What?"

"The song, silly, let me hear it."

"O-oh, sure." He grabbed his phone and decided to sit next to him, still in boxers, leaving the device between the two of them, playing the song with the long title once more.

"... It's good," Frank said, almost at the half of it.

Way could feel his eyes on him; on his bare legs, more specifically.

Or maybe he was imagining things.

Of course he discarded that idea when the youngest got a little closer to him, their sides were touching now.

He rested his hand on his knee. "You ready for tomorrow?"

"Of course I am, I always am," he tried to say with confidence, but his comment was barely audible.

_It's just another show._

He looked at him a little nervous, swallowing hard.

They made eye contact, licked their lips, the frontman of the indie band sang the chorus again.

The atmosphere had suddenly became somewhat tense.

Well, to be honest, things between them always got tense for little or no reason at all.

They'd promised to control themselves, to leave the past behind them; _their past_. For the sake of the band, their families, everything.

They were just best friends, nothing else.

However, it was difficult to think about that with the boy lowering his hand down his thigh.

"Frankie...?"

_'Shake love's steady hand_  
_Shake love's steady...'_

He got even closer. The redhead could feel his breath hitting his ear.

_'She floats like a niccy rush but she stings like a b-flat_  
_The blond-o-sonic shimmer trap'_

His hand was now heavy on his thigh, _way too close_.

Finally, he decided to turn his head, facing him and looking at his eyes, and his lips.

Frank simply smiled, as if giving him permission.

Gerard opened his mouth, the boy's hand passed to it, caressing his lips. A gasp came out.

They looked into each other's eyes, expecting to know what the other would do, what would happen next. Iero moved his hand and just kissed him, instantly getting a response.

_'And she snapped wing mirrors off of cadillacs_  
_The particularly pretty ones_  
_And that meant she never had to strain her back_  
_When she was putting her lippy on'_

The song ended, but the kiss continued. It even deepened.

Frank grabbed his face, kissing him hard; Gerard allowed himself to enjoy it. Their tongues brushed gently, both bodies wanting to be closer.

"Come here," the younger man said once they broke apart for a second, making the other sit on his lap, sighing.

He grabbed his back, his thighs, kissing him. He passed his mouth to his neck, making the other man groan.

"Ah... Frankie," he caressed his head, with almost nonexistent hair, "I missed you, _I missed you so much_."

He felt how his hot tongue suck on him, probably leaving marks. He didn't care.

"I missed you too, babyboy," he looked at him in the eyes, lovingly.

The night was almost completely set, the blueish sky covered the entire city. Gerard looked beautiful, as always. Frank tossed his dyed hair back, making him smile.

Way approached his face once more, giving him a little peck, lowering his lips to his chest.

"What about the boys?" Frank asked, trying to focus.

"I don't care about them, I just wanna be with you," the other answered, stroking his member over his jeans, making him gasp, accepting the offer.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

" _M-hm, Frank!_ "

As always, his voice became once again one of his favorite things about him, especially in situations like these; when he was on top of him, bouncing on his dick, biting his lip, opening his mouth, arching his back.

He lifted his hands, which were on his hips, to caress his hard nipples, driving him more crazy, moving the lower part of his body to enter him deeper.

The redhead cocked his head and deeply stared at him. Frank was a bit uncomfortable, leaning against the hard head of the bed, but he wasn't complaining, at least he could have him closer, more at his disposal.

He brought one of his fingers to his mouth again, gasping when the older man shoved it into it with his tongue, sucking on it.

He pulled it out, seeing the slight trace of saliva that was now at the corner of his lips, feeling how Gerard was going faster and faster, getting closer and closer.

He dug his nails on his shoulders.

"I think I'm gonna- _uh_..." he got interrupted by a groan, feeling his lover _there_. " _Oh shit_."

Frank grabbed his red hair and pulled him close, gasping in his ear, "Go ahead, Gee. _Be a good boy._ "

And it didn't take much more than that. Soon he was jerking off, giving little bounces, doing what he could.

Until he came on his stomach, staining Iero a bit.

"Fuck, _yeah_ , oh." He arched his back for the last time, closing his eyes, panting. " _Oh_."

He opened his eyes to find the other staring at him, as if hypnotized, his mouth slightly open. He could feel his fluids inside him, he'd finished too.

His cheeks turned red, and it wasn't just from the hot weather of the city this time.

He kissed him softly, shuddering at the touch of his fingers on his lower back.

"I love you."

Frank smiled. "Love you more," he kissed his nose. " _Arctic Monkeys_ are very good, by the way."

Gerard giggled. "Yeah, I think so too, huh." He gave him another kiss. " _They definitely are,_ " he sighed with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you haven't noticed, yes, i'm a big arctic monkeys fan 🤠
> 
> fun fact: this was the first frerard thing i've ever made, oop 💀
> 
> sorry if there's any mistake,  
> hope u enjoyed! 
> 
> \- may 💖


	2. roomies.

Frank sighed and settled on his spot.

He was a little tired, rubbing his eyes, the movie kept rolling. He looked to his side, seeing Gerard's relaxed face, his eyes closed and eyelashes slightly touching his cheeks. He smiled to himself, and closed the computer, putting it on the floor, a little away from the bed so it wouldn't be stepped on.

"Don't be stupid," he heard him say from behind, about to get out of bed.

"I should sleep in my own bed, Gee."

"Why?" Way shifted, opening his eyes.

Frank turned back to see him; his emerald orbs glowed brightly, as if they were inviting him to stay.

_No._

"You know why," he said, then laughing with a sigh, feeling his roommate's hand grab his wrist.

They'd been sharing the room for two years, ever since Frank started college. The second he saw him for the first time, he knew he'd have some kind of impact on his life. And Gerard had felt that too; that connection with the short boy he sometimes watched sleeping on the bed in front of his own.

At first, he always watched him, in all kinds of different ways and positions. They used to spend every night together, sometimes without even sleeping at all. He also knew everything he liked; his favorite food (along with his preferred vegetarian restaurants), his favorite bands, the cigarettes he liked best, the makeup he'd put on whenever he felt brave enough, the way he liked to be licked and sucked in different parts of his body, among other things.

But, he was a coward.

He was a coward for not admitting his own likings. He'd never had, never had someone let him be who he really was, much less someone who cared about something like that. Until he met the boy. With him, he'd discovered the things that made him feel alive the most. From the way he also liked to put on some bright makeup; to the pleasures he made him feel, pleasures he hadn't felt with any other woman before, not even in the emotional sense.

And then, Lindsey came in the picture.

That girl from his art class was really charming and understanding. He'd realized that he'd probably never meet someone that accepted him that way (aside from Frank, obviously); so, what other choice did he have?

It was better off this way, nobody gets hurt.

Well, nobody but himself.

And Frank, who cried every night Gerard came back late or didn't even show up at all. And at dawn, if he did appear, smelling of her perfume.

They'd made an unspoken agreement, and stopped spending nights together in every way. They pretended nothing had happened; that, for the past year, every time they had a chance to be in that stupid room, they could be happy together.

And so, another year passed. Sadness turned into numbness, and finally nothing.

Or so they believed.

"Stay." Gerard licked his lips expectantly. Iero grimaced and obeyed, looking at him with a face that said, _'nothing's gonna happen, don't try anything'_.

When the younger man turned his back, Way smiled unconsciously. He missed his warmth.

The college boy sighed and got comfortable again, closing his eyes and praying to heaven that he could fall asleep soon.

Gerard was still with his eyes open, looking at the back of his neck and remembering how, a year ago, he'd told him he wanted to get something tattooed there. He took a risk, and without thinking twice wrapped his arms around his waist, shifting a little to be more comfortable.

Iero opened his eyes and slightly gasped in surprise, but allowed himself to be embraced. After a few seconds, he relaxed; but his calm was again interrupted by the older man's tongue, which was now on the side of his nape.

"Uh, Gee..." He put his hand over the other's, still on his waist. " _Gerard..._ " He let himself sigh and close his eyes, feeling the circles made with the small, wet muscle.

The aforementioned settled down better, now kissing his neck and passing his hand over his belly. Iero could only keep panting. The black-haired man raised his kisses, less and less wet, up to his mouth. They were in a strange position, but not an uncomfortable one; he lowered his hand to his pants, and Frank tried to lie down so he could be completely under him, but Way stopped him.

"No, no, stay like this." He looked at him in the eyes, a little saliva came out from the corner of his lips. Frank was struck by nostalgia.

It was like nothing had changed. Just another night with his lover. No Lindsey, just them; two young college students in love, but tormented by the older boy's insecurities.

Frank nodded and kissed him again, tilting his head to feel their tongues brushing together. But this time, it didn't last long. Gerard pushed him away a bit abruptly, returning to the starting position; staying behind his body, he stretched his arm over him and opened his nightstand, searching for what he needed. Iero bit his lip, feeling the black-haired man lick his earlobe and watching his fingers pull out a condom.

He moaned when Gerard began to take off his warm pajama pants. They were in the middle of winter, Christmas had already passed.

He clung to his lover's body, noticing how both of them only had their underwear on, breathing heavily to the touch.

"God, Frankie." He loved it when he called him that. He moaned and rubbed his ass against his crotch once more, feeling his hands caress his hips. His body shuddered when he felt his response close to his ear; "I'm gonna do it from here, okay?"

"Y-Yeah, uh..." He could barely speak, the sweet, but at the same time, provocative tone of his voice overwhelmed him in the best way possible.

Gerard knew what he needed. Usually, it'd be the other way around. But he had to — wanted to — take care of Frank, to let him know that he still loved him after all. _He loved him more than anything._ He took his boxers off and brought two fingers to his mouth, which he sucked and licked with total devotion, making dirty sounds throughout the room. With a sigh, he pulled them out and slowly inserted them into his entrance, stretching him out.

"Gee, Gee-"

"Shhh, it's just me, baby," he whispered in his ear again, but now it was more tender, leaving warm kisses along the area. "Relax."

After no more than two minutes, he finally got his work done; Frank was writhing with pleasure after such a long time of abstinence, moving his lower half to feel _more_.

"C'mon now, please, just do it."

And Gerard obeyed.

Frank heard how he opened the small package with the latex inside and spat out his hand. Still, he startled when he felt his member inside him.

"Oh, god, Gerard." His hands gripped his waist, hot to the touch, like his breath hitting the back of his neck. He raised one of his hands to caress his brown hair, while the younger man moved one of his legs, giving better access to the body behind him. "Ah... _Ugh_."

It felt good, _way too good;_ like this, from this angle. Frank had never felt fuller. And, somehow, it also gave the impression of being more intimate than the other times. They were not just fucking, but also making love.

Although, to be honest, it'd never be 'just fucking' to them.

"Frank, oh, Frank." Gerard's hand clung closer to his body, almost digging his nails. Iero turned his head, kissing him as he continued to slowly move his pelvis. "You're so good, so fucking good."

Frank growled, he loved how he talked to him in these kinds of situations, always.

"So good and mine, _only mine_."

"Yes, _yours_."

"Yeah?" he teased him, grabbing his erection, moaning.

"Yes, all yours, _always, my love._ "

And it was true. Sure, he'd slept and even seen other people more than once, but he was Gerard's. And Gerard was his, or so he liked to believe.

The thrusts began to get faster and deeper, causing Frank's mouth to open wider and make involuntary noises. Gerard wasn't a different case.

"I'm gonna... Ah, I'm gonna cum," the younger man's words seemed to no longer make sense anymore, he could barely speak properly.

Gerard started jerking him off faster, he was close too.

Between gasps and names, they finished.

Frank groaned, and before he could snap out of his trance, Gerard abruptly shook him again, turning him around completely, attacking his mouth with passion. Iero moaned slightly, and ran his hands through his dark hair; he noticed it was beginning to grow, as he wrapped his legs around his waist.

The kiss started being less and less intense, until it turned into slight pecks. Gerard gave him the last one and leaned back a little to see his face. His expression was serene, and in love.

Neither of them said anything, they just looked at each other. Way was caressing his cheek, jaw, and lips with his thumb, smiling. It was unbelievable how they managed to communicate without words, but with their eyes.

 _'I'm fine,'_ said Frank's.

 _'I believe you,'_ Gerard grimaced.

Between hugs and somewhat awkward movements that had begun innocent, Frank was now on top of him. He realized that he'd removed the condom and, as he looked at his member, he smirked.

Gerard blushed and laughed nervously. Frank leaned down to kiss him, and now he was reaching for the table next to him.

After the characteristic snap, he said, "I love you," with total vulnerability.

"Me too."

_'Nothing's gonna happen, don't try anything; 'cause I don't know if my heart could take it again.'_

However, Frank, once again, decided to turn off his voice of rationality and just let himself go.

They had all night to be together and catch up anyway; they could worry about it later in the morning.

Or just not worrying at all for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg they were roommates.
> 
> hope u enjoyed this one, i remember being quite proud when i first wrote it lol  
> sorry if there's any mistake, hope ur having a great year so far !
> 
> \- may 💖


	3. for all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight y'all, this one's pretty sad, hope u like it. i was feeling quite shitty when i wrote it lol
> 
> the ghost of you frerard cliché uwu~
> 
> tumblr: @/cookiemustdie !
> 
> \- may 💖

_In and out._

_In, and out._

_In... and out._

_Goddammit, focus, Gerard._

He kept running, going as fast as he could, almost there. He looked to his sides;

Bob, Mikey, Ray, Frank-

_Frank!_

"Gerard, you have to keep going!" Mikey yelled at him when he saw how distracted he was.

But Gerard couldn't hear him, his head was stunned, and not exactly from the grenades exploding around him across the field.

His brother just looked at him for a second, and grabbed his hand. "C'mon, let's go."

"No."

"Gerard!"

"No!"

He ran over to where his friends were, ignoring his brother and the explosions.

"What are you doing?! Leave!" Ray yelled at him, trying to focus on keeping pressing on Frank's wound, who just grunted.

"Frankie..." _His abdomen, fuck._

"Gerard, go for once- Gerard!" The mentioned carried the wounded man in his arms.

"Shut up and help me!"

Ray growled infuriatingly.

Way didn't care.  
He didn't care if he should be doing this or not, if there might be other injuries that Ray would have to help.

He wanted to do it, he had to.

They weren't that far from _it_ , after all.

Finally, they reached safe ground, hiding with all the others that rested among some trees, near the rest of the troop. Neither Mikey nor Bob were in sight, the black-haired man just hoped they were okay, supposedly they'd arrived.

Gerard threw himself to the ground from exhaustion, with Frank crushing his legs atop him, Toro kneeled to see his condition. "Fuck."

Gerard quickly sat up, noticing why his friend was cussing so much.

"Frank," he said in a low gasp.

The mentioned had a terrible gunshot wound on his, once again, abdomen, just above his hip. But not only that, his ribs as well. And his legs... Well, he definitely wouldn't walk again for some time.

"Doctor!" someone called, Ray quickly got up.

"Where are you going?" The oldest of the Ways felt his eyes water.

"I've got to help the rest, Gee. Here," he handed him a couple of bandages, " put pressure on the wounds, I'll be right back, okay?" Iero was pale, too pale, looking at an undefined point in the sky. "More people will come, I promise." And before he could complain, the man ran to where more men were heard moaning in pain.

With shaky hands, Gerard squeezed the wounds, trying to stop the bleeding. Frank snapped out of his trance. "Ah, no! Stop!"

"Shhh, Frank, calm down!" He tried not to be so rough, but, whether he was or not, it still hurt like hell. "Come on, help me press against them."

The shorter man just shook his head and groaned. Fuck, there's got to be another doctor around here...

"Hold on, now... That's it..." As he pressed, he looked forward, there were still boys who kept coming, and others who didn't have the same luck.

What a stupid thing,  
a fucking retreat, Gerard felt like an idiot.

This was a senseless war already, and now this?

He heard a sigh beneath him and turned his gaze to the dying body, the bandage was all stained with an extreme red. Iero's face was pale again, _very pale._

"Frank?" The mentioned blinked a couple of times. "Frankie."

He looked into his eyes.

"I got hit?"

Gerard's stomach turned when he felt the blood that kept coming out, it seemed to be liters and liters. "Yes."

He noticed new tears in his eyes. "Am I dying?'

Way's lip trembled.

"No, no, Gee, don't do that, don't cry."

"Frank-"

"It doesn't matter, it's okay. You'll be okay."

"No, _shut up_." He pressed again, Ray told him to press, damn it.

But he only earned gasps from Frank, and his hands trying to stop their own.

"Frank, let me... You're going to be fine."

His friend shook his head, and put his hand on his, both stained with blood.

"L-Listen to me," he kept looking for something that could help him. "Listen to me, Gerard."

The mentioned yielded, attentively seeing him. If this was his last request, then he'd respect it, no matter how much it breaks his heart.

" _Right here_ it's fine, 'cause I'm in your arms," Frank gasped, smiling sadly. "I'm in the arms of the person I love." Gerard squeezed his eyes. He'd always wanted to hear that, _but not like this_ , not with his lover dying. "... And I'll always love."

Way was still crying like a baby, he caressed his cheek.

Frank laughed and closed his eyes. "How much time wasted." He stroked the hand on his face. "How much time..."

He'd always liked him, and he knew the black-haired man felt the same way. But it didn't matter whether it was reciprocal or not; not when you lived in the society and times they lived in. Iero thought the feeling would go away with time.

But no.

When it came to Gerard, _nothing was just temporary._

So they just moved on with their lives, and their special dealings. They were very special best friends, but that was it. They'd never kissed, much less sleep together.

And all for what? So that in the end, one of them ends up dying without even having expressed it in a verbal — or explicit — way?

_Fuck it._

They kept looking at each other, not caring if anyone else saw, everyone was tired after all.

"Kiss me," Frank whispered with fear, but need at the same time. " _Please, kiss me_."

Way nodded and looked to his sides, to then left a single peck on his lips, which became a more appropriate kiss, tender and slow.

That was their first and last kiss.

When they broke away, Frank had a smile on his face, and he was about to say something but the older man beat him to it.

"I love you too," he expressed through tears. "I will always love you, Frankie."

The mentioned smiled, his eyes felt heavy. Very heavy. His face had already lost its color completely by now, and his injuries no longer mattered.

"Talk to Linda for me, tell her that... _you know._ "

"Of course, I will."

"And, find... Mikey... and go home." His breathing was getting weaker. "I already did; _I'm home, Gee_."

And so it was, Frank Iero went home on a March afternoon, between shootings and dying people.

Two months later, Gerard and Mikey also returned home, literally. They still had some friendships remaining (like Ray), fortunately.

From the age of twenty-two, Gerard had never been able to find a woman who could replace the great love of his life. Obviously there were kisses, caresses and even couples. But never quite a partner, someone whom he could share his life with.

But it wasn't like he needed it, or like he wanted someone to take on that role, that is.

Well, he already had someone occupying that place.

And today, sixty years later, surrounded by his brother and his kids, _he too will go home._

He'll go to his home, the paradise where his beloved — the ghost that had his heart — had been waiting for him for a while now.

And this time there were no wars or bombs.

Sticks or stones.

Prejudice or discrimination.

Shyness or fear.

Just the two of them,  
living forever in that world that is not visible to many, but that, after all, is there. _Very much alive._

And how beautiful it is!

So beautiful.


	4. in that green jumper, you can have anything you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was sad and horny when i wrote this ;; i remember that my back hurt and i was listening to "acrylic afternoons" by pulp,,,,  
> there probably will be some mistakes
> 
> sorry for this.
> 
> aNyWaYs, stream pulp and follow me at @/cookiemustdie on tumblr!! ^^
> 
> \- may 💖

"Gosh, it hurts way too much, love," Gerard complained, laying on his bed.

"I told you we should've changed the mattress, it's old." Frank sat next to him, drinking his tea. It was six in the afternoon, more or less.

His husband's back hadn't stopped hurting for days, he was all contracted, with knots in his muscles that made him suffer. He took pills and put hot seed bags on the area to ease the pain, but it was still there, though at least not as bad now.

Frank finished his drink and left the cup resting on the saucer on his nightstand, he turned to look at him. "Aren't you going to drink your tea?"

Gerard just grunted, shaking his head. "I have something else going on now, in case you haven't noticed.

"Okay okay, grumpy." He kissed his forehead. "Do you want me to heat your bag again?"

"Mmm, what if you give me a massage?" Way looked at him pouting, with wet doggy eyes.

"Uhh, I'm tired too, love."

"Aw, _c'mooooon_." Frank smiled and shook to himself, trying to get up from the bed, but Gerard grabbed his shoulders. "Please?"

Frank rolled his eyes, thinking. "Fine, but only while we wait for the bag to heat up, okay?"

Gerard just nodded with a mischievous smile, hiding in his big green wool sweater. Frank kissed his cheek and left.

He loved his husband, the love of his life. He had to admit that they were still in the honeymoon phase, where everything seems to be magical. Although, to be honest, they had been married a year and a half ago.

They met in high school and quickly became friends. Even though, from the beginning, you could see that there were other underlying intentions. Especially from gerard; he fell in love with Frank the second he saw him in his music class, with ripped jeans and an acoustic guitar on his lap.  
It didn't take long for the guitarist to fall for him too. He loved watching his friend draw and sing in his basement.

All until one day, after his seventeenth birthday, he declared his love. The rest was history.

He put the bag in and set it in the microwave for two minutes, then went back to their room. He found Gerard turned, on his belly, facing the wall on his side of the room. He lay down beside him to kiss his nape and shoulders.

"Mmm, c'mon Frankie," he muttered.

Frank shushed and uncovered him. He grabbed a moisturizer and got on top of him, between his bottom and lower back. He lifted the garment of his beloved, leaving his whitish skin in sight, his scattered moles looked like little stars.

He spread some cream on his hands and began his work; Gerard was startled when he felt it. " _It's cooold!_ " he exclaimed sleepily.

" _Shhh_ , it'll go, baby." Iero kept running his hands everywhere, spreading the cream and tightening some knots. Gerard began to moan and complain slightly.

His sounds seemed to be a mixture of pain and pleasure; the more time passed, the more he relaxed. And therefore, expressed himself more freely.

" _Aahh_ , Frankie, yeah, right there." He'd touched him on both sides of his ribs. "Lower."

Frank complied, and massaged his hip. First on his sides, and then on the back, near his buttocks.

"Ah!" he gasped. "T-Thank you."

The dark brown haired man laughed. "It's nothing, my love.", He made a couple more circles with his fingers. "Better?"

"Yeah..." Frank nodded and got up to get off his back. "But don't stop yet!"

His husband laughed. "But honey-"

"No, keep going!" Gerard begged, childishly. " _Pwease_ , I want you to touch me..."

"Do you want me to touch you or to make you feel better?" Frank raised an eyebrow.

"... Both?"

Frank shook his head and settled back on him, bent his back to kiss the cheek that wasn't crushed against the pillow, while running his hands all over his back, up to his shoulders.

"Mmm, thank you."

"Stop thanking me," he murmured in his ear. "Why don't you take this off instead, yeah?" he referred to Gerard's clothing, who immediately obeyed. His _jumper_ ended on the floor, now he was only in boxers, like Frank, who also took off his shirt.

He got more comfortable, being fully on his husband's ass, who groaned. And this time wasn't because of the massages.

Frank began to kiss his neck, leaving slight marks. "You're so pretty, so perfect," he said against his skin, running his tongue there. He lowered his wet kisses to his shoulders, Gerard only moaned and moved his lower part against his crotch.

"Please, Frankie, please."

The mentioned moaned with him, passing his hands over his back again, gently grasping his hips and simulating thrusts. Gerard got on his hands, moaning louder. He settled in better, now he was down on all fours for him, who just devoted himself to spreading kisses all over his back. He reached for his boxers and removed them, kissing both cheeks; Gerard turned to see him and flushed as he met his lustful gaze.

Frank pulled away and bit his lip, still looking at him and then, his husband reacted. Suddenly, he changed positions to kiss him, surprising Frank; he moaned between his messy kisses, turning him over and sitting on his covered crotch.

"Ah, I wanna..." Frank kissed his neck while holding his hips, Gerard hugged his neck. "I wanna ride you, yeah... _Ah_."

" _Yeah?_ " He gasped in his ear, stroking his buttocks.

"Yes, please... Can I?"

"Of course, cutie." Frank spread their bodies a little to reach the lube in his drawer. He threw it on the bed and began to remove his underwear. "Just let me prep you, okay? I don't want you to get hurt."

Way nodded and waited for his next move. Frank spread his fingers with the substance and asked Gerard to lift his bottom a bit; then he began to stretch him.

A finger,  
two,  
three, and then Gerard was already moaning like crazy, digging his nails into his shoulders and telling Frank that he was ready, almost begging.

Iero put more lube on his member and wiped his fingers with the sheets, then slid inside Gerard. He waited for him to get used to it and then continued.

Their room was filled with moans and groans, their double bed sounded a little the more they moved. The light brown haired boy was really enjoying himself, bouncing on him.

"Oh, God, Frank, _damn it_." His hips moved and his entrance was buried in his cock over and over again. "Oh, yes, yes, _yeah_..." He grabbed the younger boy's medium-long hair, who was kissing his jaw, his arms tightening his neck against him, he wanted to feel him even closer. "Yeah, love, just like that, _oh..._ "

" _Like this?_ " Frank noticed his last moan and the way he rolled his eyes. He repeated the action, " _There, prince?_ " and then hit his prostate over and over again.

Way moaned even more than before, almost screaming when Frank lunged at him, shifting their positions. Gerard tightened the sheets and arched his so sore back, Frank did it roughly, just as he liked best. His legs curled around his hips, and his hands got back on his hair, he kissed him with his mouth open, his tongue brushing and wetting his own.

Such was the roughness that his head was almost hanging over the edge of the bed, he no longer knew where to hold on. He almost screamed when he felt those fingers touching and pinching her nipples.

"Ah! H-Harder..."

He squeaked once Frank turned him around again, going back to the starting position, his gaze now on the head of the bed. His arms could barely keep on supporting himself, his body trembled, he was almost there.

He loved Frank to use him like that, and that, at the same time, he loved him. That he was one hundred percent his, he could over stimulate him as many times as he wanted, it's not like Gerard didn't like it.

"Touch me," he begged, " _please, touch me_."

He soon felt the hand of the love of his life grabbing him and clasping his chest with his back, making him scream.

"I love you." He kissed his cheek, Gerard grabbed him by the neck with little strength he had left. " _I love you, I love you, I love you..._ " His hand began jerking him off faster.

And so, Gerard came with a scream that ended in a moan. Frank followed him.

The older man fell exhausted on the mattress, panting. Frank pulled out of him and did the same at his side.

"You're good?"

"Now I can hardly move." Gerard felt like a teenager again, having had his first time to whom he was now married.

Iero burst into laughter at his comment.

"Shit, I forgot. I'll put your bag to heat again, love."


	5. maybe i should try harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all i'm really fucking sad, so i figured why not upload one of my most angsty and personal os so far?? 🤠
> 
> tw// eating disorders, bulimia,,,,
> 
> yup,,, this is happening  
> i'm sorry.
> 
> \- mayxo.

His body curled into a ball. He gripped his feet with all his might, squeezing his eyes.

_Sleep,_  
_sleep,_  
_sleep,_  
_sleep,_  
_sleep._

His phone began buzzing, causing him to cry harder, hitting his head against the pillow.

_You're an idiot, look what you've done._

He gasped and tried to wipe his tears away as quickly as possible. _C'mon, you're fine._

He grabbed the device, sighing when he saw who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Frankie... Are you okay? How are you feeling?

He closed his eyes, letting a single tear escape silently. "Yeah, of course. I'm sorry I didn't answer, I'm just tired, I was about to fall asleep."

"Oh, okay."

"... Yeah, thanks anyway."

"It's nothing, beautiful. You know you can talk to me whenever you want, right?"

"Yes, of course. Thanks."

"I love you, yeah?"

Frank wanted to open his mouth, but the words didn't come out, _he couldn't do this anymore._

"Y-Yeah, me too. Goodnight."

And so he hung up. Throwing his phone away from him, not wanting to touch it.

His throat ached and her eyes were too heavy.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

"You're all sweaty..."

"I came in a rush, I was going to be late, Gee." He pressed his lips against his boyfriend's, who grimaced. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know, I thought we could go home and order some pizza, what do you think?"

"Cool, c'mon."

They held hands, trying to warm themselves from the cold night. Frank was wearing an orange beanie, the rest of his clothes were black. Gerard had his old scarf on, his clothing varying in shades of dark. He hasn't seen his boyfriend since a few weeks ago, uni really kept him busy, unlike Frank, who was already on his holidays and entering his last year of high school.

Frank was internally grateful for the fact that so far he hasn't mentioned what happened last night, when he texted him in the middle of despair, fearing he might have a relapse. Thank God, now everything was fine, _"nothing had happened"_.

As soon as they reached the older boy's house, they jumped into each other, between laughs and blankets. They waited huddled on the couch for the food to arrive. Frank kissed him with pure passion and devotion, strong against himself. Gerard laughed.

"At least wait a bit until the pizzas are here, baby."

Frank frowned.

Did Gerard not want to kiss him?

Was he being too annoying?

Did Gerard find it disgusting?

Did he find _him_ disgusting?

_Jesus, calm down._

What if he didn't want him anymore? Sure it was because he was horrible, who would want him looking like that? He can't even kiss well-

"Frank?" He soon realized that his boyfriend was at the door, with a rectangular box in his hands. "You good? I told you to go get the drinks."

"Yeah, sorry, I'm-"

"No, it's okay," he put the pizza on the table in front of him, "I'll go get them." He smiled at the brunette and left, leaving him alone.

Frank, his look of disgust and the pizza. Such a great trio.

Iero went up and down his foot, this was a mistake. What excuse would he use now?

"Frank, come on, _eat_."

The fact that he knew, sucked. He already had enough with his parents, watching him eat all the time, not letting him leave the table for at least half an hour, checking what went into his mouth and what didn't. He just wanted to have fun with his boyfriend. Not having to discover some other way to lie to him too.

He really didn't want to.

But he just couldn't stop.

"Of course I'll eat, don't be an idiot," he said with some anger, taking a big bite of his slice, feeling immediate disgust.

They both stay silent as the Star Wars saga marathon rolled in front of them.

"I love this movie." Gerard tried to ease the atmosphere, approaching him. "I missed you..." He rested his head on his shoulder, still eating.

"I missed you too."

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

He closed his eyes and opened his mouth wider.

_Blah!_

The involuntarily coughing started, causing bits of food to fly into the toilet. His eyes watered and his nose felt weird. _God, this was so fucking disgusting._

He did it one more time, and now, finally, nothing else came out and the acid burned his stomach. He gasped, his hand full of saliva and vomit dangling on the edge of the seat.

He took a moment, and stood up. He flushed the chain, and walked over to the sink, washing his face up.

He looked in the mirror for a few seconds while the water kept running.

He shook his head and washed even more, trying to erase some of his bad habits. He dried off and went back to fixing his clothes, clashing with his gaze in the mirror once more. A sob came out without his permission.

Someone knocked on the door, scaring him. "Is somebody in there?"

He closed the tap that he'd previously turned on to muffle his sounds.

He looked in the mirror and fixed his hair and almost nonexistent makeup.

"Frank, it's me, can I come in?"

He checked his breath and smiled, trying to convince himself.

He opened the door. "Hey, baby."

Gerard raised an eyebrow. "You okay? I thought you'd wait for me in the living room."

"Sorry, I really needed to pee." He laughed, grabbing his hand. "Do you want to get out of here? I barely have friends.

"What about Ray?"

"Ray can wait, I haven't seen you in weeks." He stroked his neck. "Let's go."

Gerard was convinced. They both went down to where the rest of the party was, greeted Ray, and once again went to the older boy's house.

Frank was happy to see him, happy to be pretty for him. Gerard deserved someone beautiful.

"Home Sweet Home," the black-haired man said funny, immediately going up his room. Frank tried to keep up with him.

"I know that, compared to your college parties, now the ones I invite you to seem trash, but..." he breathed heavily, "go a little slower, Gee."

"I'm normally walking, Frank, you old man."

Finally they arrived, the house was silent.

"My parents are out."

No more needed to be said.

Frank was really serious when he said he missed him. Not only not seeing him was torture, not touching him was even worse. That added to the fact that, from what he'd seen in photos, Way was now surrounded by extremely attractive classmates, not like him.  
Jealousy, among the love he had for him, led to his kisses being strong, desperate.

"Please, touch me," he moaned as he was under him, his hands in his hair. Gerard started marking him. "Oh yeah..."

The older boy bit his lip as he noticed how satisfied he was by just his lips. He loved Frank; if it were up to him, they would live together in his dorm, between drawings and guitar solos.

He took off his jeans, including his underwear, grabbing his member and making him gasp loudly and hug him by the neck.

"You too... Take off your clothes."

And Gerard obeyed. None of them had their big coats that protected them from the cold over them. The light was off, the moonlight being their only recourse. Way found himself naked in no time, brushing both their bottoms, making both of them sigh against each other's mouths.

Frank still had his sweater and shirt on, the black-haired man touched him under his clothes, wanting to take them off, which the younger doubted for a second but finally agreed. Well, he wouldn't see him, right?

_Still..._

They continued to kiss passionately until Gerard caressed his abdomen. What he touched scared him, causing him to jump and break away immediately. He turned on the light on his nightstand.

"My God, Frank, what did you do?"

The mentioned didn't understand what made his mood swing like that. Sure, he had lost weight, but _he didn't think it was that bad_.

"'Not that bad'? Look at you." Gerard eyed him a million times in just a few seconds. It seemed like they'd gone back a year ago, back to when all of _this_ exploded.

His ribs were noticeable and his legs looked like they were going to break, even his face looked sick and Gerard was angry with himself for not having noticed earlier.

Frank felt his eyes water, _was he that ugly?_

He sniffed and reached down to grab his clothes, slowly.

"Love..." _Great_ , now he sure thought he hated him, he shouldn't have been so rude.

Iero's tears began to escape, wanting to get dressed as quickly as possible.

"Don't go, let's talk." Gerard put on his underwear and approached him, grabbing him by the shoulders. Frank pushed him, wanting to run.

But his body disagreed, as always.

As soon as he stood up, he felt as if the whole room was distorted, making him dizzy.

He fell on the carpeted floor.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

He opened his eyes.

He was still in Gerard's room, he felt hands holding his body and legs underneath it.

"God, good thing you woke up." His boyfriend now had clothes on, just like him, and his voice cracked. "I called an ambulance, okay? Don't worry."

_Don't worry? Ambulance? What the fuck?_

He tried to push him and escape, but to no avail, Gerard held him tight while he kept crying.

"Are you like this because of me? Did I do something?"

Frank shook his head, he couldn't take this again, and yet... here he was. A whole year of treatment completely thrown away, he had learned nothing.

"I-I don't want to... I want to be enough."

"Oh, Frankie... You are more than enough." Gerard gently caressed his cheek. "Are you insane? I love you more than anything, of course you are enough."

He just shook his head, but the older boy kept insisting.

"Yes, yes, yes," he seriously said, grabbing his face firmly. "You're perfect as you are. God, fucking hell Frank, you're the man of my life. I don't want anyone else."

"I'm not... pretty enough, I don't... fit in with you." Frank felt like he was short of breath, Gerard denied his words. "I don't want... to be admitted."

"But you'll get better."

They both looked into each other's eyes for a moment, crying. Gerard kept stroking his cheeks with his thumbs.

"This time you'll get better, _right?_ "

Frank just closed his eyes again, sighing.

_One hundred and three lbs is **not** enough._

**_It never will be._ **


	6. you should lower your expectations.

Frank muffled a satisfied sound, rolling into his place, warming himself with the sheets. Gerard smiled from his seat, moving his pencil as he appreciated his boyfriend.

The sun had already risen, _Kurt Cobain_ was singing, Frank was still naked and lying on his bed; Gerard allowed his eyes to come and go, as well as his hand, drawing something that now only wouldn't be impregnated in his memory, but also on paper.

' _Bright all the stars that shine_  
_Dark is the sky'_

He gave the final touches, smoking quietly.

_'I know this love of mine will never die...'_

He blew the smoke out of his mouth, smiling to himself. He turned his cigarette off and looked at the piece of paper with pride.

_'And I love her'_

He laid down his sheet again and watched his boyfriend sleep peacefully. He leaned on his hand, eyes full of love illuminated his face, they seemed to be heart shaped.

_'A love like ours will never die_  
_As long as I hold you near me'_

He grabbed his drawing and his phone, heading to his bed. _The Beatles'_ cover was still playing at a low volume.

He propped both artifacts on his nightstand, causing Frank to stir and whisper a sigh.

"I can smell your cigarette from here."

Gerard smiled. "I just finished smoking." He laid down next to his boyfriend.

Frank reached out and hugged him. "It's alright, doesn't matter."

Gerard hugged him back, he knew he didn't like the smell of his precious cylinders.

"Though, I do like it when it comes to you," he said against his chest. "It mixes with your perfume, makes you look a bit more... manly." Frank sighed, half asleep.

"Do you like me being manly, baby?" Gerard kissed his cheek. "Like me taking care of you, yeah?"

Frank nodded with his head, his little eyes slightly open. He was between wanting to have sex with him or falling asleep again.

Way laughed. "I made you something." He reached out his arm.

Frank's eyes widened, paying a little more attention, and thus, waking up.

Gerard paused the music completely, and showed him his drawing; his portrait of an asleep Frank, naked under the covers.

"Oh, Gee..." the younger man held it delicately, "it's beautiful."

"Yeah, well, it couldn't be less with such a model, right?"

Frank blushed. "Shut up, what a cliché." He looked at his drawing again. "I love it, you're great." He kissed his cheeks several times, to which he laughed, blushing.

"I'd do anything for you, baby."

Gerard finally felt that they were okay, really okay. Frank had been admitted to begin with his treatment. Thankfully, it wasn't that intense. However, Iero hated it.

The only good thing was Gerard's visits.

Even though they'd already been three years together, it was only now that Frank was really beginning to believe that Gerard loved him. He could tell by the way he looked at him, how he spoiled him, how he kept visiting him whenever he got the chance.

He could be with anyone, and yet here he was, on top of him in his college dorm. Pete, Gerard's roommate, had left the place to themselves.

Gerard returned each and every one of his kisses, and was about to start saying nice things to him, until...

"But, you know what I think?" Frank stroked his shoulders covered by a sweater. Gerard looked at him expectantly. "I think you didn't get my left nipple right."

"Oh, I didn't?" Gerard smiled knowingly, caressing his hair.

Frank just shook his head and bit his lip.

"Well, it's just that, you know..." He lifted the sheets, positioning himself under them while still on top of him. "I didn't have the chance to see it that close." He caressed his boyfriend's abdomen gently. "But hey... now I can see it just well." He lowered his head, kissing his chest, his clavicles...

"Mmm, ah." Frank stroked his recently dyed red hair with need. Gerard licked the mentioned area, sucking on his nipple gently.

"You're so beautiful," he said, caressing his sides, settling between his legs, making Frank gasp at the friction between his nakedness and Gerard's dressed bottom.

Iero hugged his neck and grabbed his waist with his legs, rubbing himself a little against him, kissing his jaw in a messy way.  
Gerard grunted, pulling away from him to remove his pants. Frank stared at him from his place, panting and legs spread, exposed. Way almost drooled when he saw him.

All those months without having him exactly how he wanted him had been torture. However, fortunately, that had been the driving force for Frank to want to get out of there as soon as possible; striving to improve.

And now that he finally had him, he wouldn't let him go. He'd show him how much he loved him. _Oh yes_ , he'd make him love and learn how to live with his body again.

Gerard grabbed the lube, drenching his fingers. He knew it wasn't necessary, since Frank was stretched enough from the night before, but he wanted to focus on just his pleasure for a moment. He loved it.

He put a finger in, making the youngest sigh. He moved it a bit and slipped in the next one, causing Frank to groan a little louder, closing his eyes. By the time the third one entered him, Iero arched his back, moving more against his hand, needy. Gerard just watched him moan, biting his lip.

"Gee, ah, please," he moaned against his lips, arousing him even more. "I want you inside me, I want your... Mmm, come on."

Way quickly complied, pulling his fingers out a bit roughly. He grabbed that strange substance again and covered his member with it. He didn't put a condom on, since he and Frank were clean.

Still anxious, he was between his legs again, settling himself and his friend down there.

"Gee..." Frank raised an eyebrow. "Gee, hey," he grabbed his face and looked into his eyes, "what's the rush?"

The redhead sighed. "Sorry, it's just that... You're finally back and I want to do everything as pleasurable as possible for you."

"Wait, you... haven't been pleased these days?"

" _What? No!_ Frankie, these were the best days I've had in a long time." He brought their bodies a little closer, caressing his cheek with his thumb. "The thing is that, after everything that happened... I don't know, I want to make you feel special, I want to make you feel happy all the time."

Frank laughed with a sigh. "My love, you already make me happy." He gave him a sweet kiss. "Though, I'm not gonna lie, I had multiple orgasms this weekend and I'm more than happy."

Gerard laughed, kissing him again.

"But seriously, don't rush it, not like that at least. You do it perfectly, no matter how. " He gave him another kiss, this one was deeper, until they ran out of air. "And, really, I want to please you too."

Way laughed, stroking his waist. "Trust me, you do, baby."

"No, really..." Frank sighed seductively, grabbing his member and alienating him more with his entrance. Gerard gasped slightly, watching him do his thing. Iero was the only one who moved, each time having him deeper inside him, arching his head and back. As he bottomed out, he stood panting in place for a moment, as did Gerard. Then, he took him by his buttocks, pressing more against him. "C'mon, move."

And Gerard obeyed. _Shit, this really turned him on_ ; Frank touching him there, inciting him to...

" _Use me_ , please, just, do it as you please," he moaned against his lips, his hands were now in his hair and his body trembled slightly with pleasure. "I'm yours, Gerard, you can do whatever you want to."

It was as if they were both fighting who gave the other the most pleasure, when in reality the answer was easy: they both pleased each other in the best way possible.

Gerard held him by the hips while Frank just reveled in his movements.

"Lay down."

"What?" Gerard asked between breaths, slowing down.

"Just lay down."

Way pulled out, paying attention to him. Iero wasted no time getting on top of him, feeling his cock in him again. Gerard moaned, "Fuck, yeah," making Frank moan too, feeling his hands on his hips again.

The youngest rested his hands on his abdomen, going faster. Gerard bit his lip, watching his little body work. He reached his hands up to his ass and massaged it, making him roll his eyes.  
After a few minutes, they both became desperate. Frank practically jumped on him, holding onto his thighs to feel him deeper; Gerard was bumping into him, now sitting in the middle of the bed, hugging him and getting closer to him.

Frank opened his mouth, feeling Gerard touch him _there_. He ran his hands over his head, drawing him in for a messy kiss.

"You okay, baby?" Gerard breathed.

"Yeah, I'm more than okay, fuck."

Way smirked, grabbing his hips again to come in and out of him abruptly, hitting his prostate continuously. Frank now only dedicated himself to moaning and hugging his body, his legs and arms were tangled with him.

"Come on, baby, _let go_."

And so, with Gerard touching his sweet spot and Frank moaning desperately between sighs, they came mercilessly.

Iero fell on top of him exhausted, with his dick out of him but his fluids deep inside. Gerard brushed the hair from his sweaty face and kissed him lovingly. Frank sighed and smiled.

"You're so, _so_ , beautiful," he said against his ear, caressing his leg on top of him. "You've no idea how lucky I am to have you."

The brown-haired man wanted to cry, and he didn't even know why.

"I love you," he expressed with a smile and tired eyes. He moved closer to him and began to kiss him back. "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

Way smiled and they both cuddled again, to fall into another dream. The redhead's smile increased when he didn't feel his ribs when he hugged him.

And even though they later got up late for the lunch they had with the younger boy's parents, everything was perfect for Frank.

Well, _one hundred and twenty-one lbs **was more than enough** ,_ now that Gerard was by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, buckle up people, this is a long and pretty personal note. 
> 
> welp, in case u haven't noticed by the title yet, this two part one-shot was inspired by a beach bunny song called "prom queen" (let's ignore the fact that tiktok ruined it lol).
> 
> obviously, my intention wasn't to romanticize eating disorders or self destruction themes, i simply wanted to show a misunderstood reality. and i feel like we're not even talking about bulimia or anorexia anymore, but rather the self sabotage a lot of people go through every. single. fucking. day.  
> it's a serious subject that can have a lot of different results: an eating disorder, in my case. but other examples could be drug addiction, violence, doing fucked up shit that is dangerous for yourself and for the people around you. however, they all have this thing in common: mental torture and addiction. seriously, fucking yourself up is really addictive. 
> 
> and even though i know a lot of people won't even read this, that they won't care, that they think this is stupid; hey, at least i try. if i can't help myself, at least i want to try and help someone out there. 
> 
> and, to sum up; "you need to fucking talk to somebody," as gerard once said lmao. 
> 
> but, really, i hope nobody ever goes through what i've been through. but, in any case, i'm here to talk; and, if it's not me, please, at least go ahead and try to seek serious help. don't be stupid. 
> 
> i think that's it, hope i made my point clear. 
> 
> i love u all.  
> thanks for reading me and see y'all next time!
> 
> \- may 💖


End file.
